Cordelia & Baz
After my first birth with my (now 4 year old) daughter didn’t go as I had planned and the anxiety and stress surrounding a pregnancy after a termination (from a medical issue), I felt that the only way to accomplish my next birth positively, was to practice hypnobirthing. Now, anyone that knows me, would tell you that I am not the sort of person that would likely practice this sort of method. But seeing as it was going to be my last shot at birth, I wanted to go into it with an open mind, make a connection with my body and feel powerful about who I was as a woman.
As the last week was approaching and I was edging closer to my EDD, I felt ready. I knew the weeks of relaxation techniques – creating vivid images in my mind and focusing on up and down breathing with my husband, were going to come into play soon. I was 39 weeks and 1 day at my last midwife appointment. During that clinic, she had offered me a sweep which I accepted enthusiastically. “If you still want a home birth,” she beckoned, “then it might be better to get him out sooner rather than later”. They had predicted that he was going to be a big baby – over 8lbs. But, in the end he was 9lbs 5oz. Thank goodness I didn’t wait until he had decided to come himself or my home birthing dream would have been well and truly over (my daughter was also a large baby and had shoulder dystocia, so the home birth team were a bit nervous that this may happen again).
As expected, I felt a mixture of excitement and nervousness leaving the doctor’s clinic. Would he come tomorrow? Maybe the next day? How long would I have to wait until I meet him? I phoned my husband immediately to warn him that our baby could enter the world imminently and our world as we knew it – could change within 24 hours! All evening after the sweep, I felt niggly pains which I could only describe as period cramps - nothing alarming. So, we went to bed early in hope that we would get some sleep in case I went into labour that night.
From about midnight, the pains which felt like period cramps started to feel more like small waves or surges. Surely not, I had thought to myself. But sure enough, they became more and more regular and defined. I woke my husband at around 2am and whispered to him, ‘I think it’s time’. Immediately, my body started to feel cold and I was trembling from the adrenaline. ‘Let me read you one of the visualisations,’ he said which really helped me focus and to calm me down.
After an hour or so, we decided to go downstairs where we had decided would be a serene and calming environment. While I was sat on a yoga ball, focusing on my breathing, my husband had placed all the positive affirmations in my line of sight and put on our birthing playlist. We were working as a team more than ever before.
Everything was progressing well. My surges were increasingly intense but were managed just by the breathing techniques we had practiced. After a few hours had passed, I had the assistance of the TENS machine, which was of great help. But the best and most wonderful relief for pain was the birthing pool. After 8 hours of manageable surges, I finally heard the heavenly words of “You can get in the pool now,” by the midwife. “You’re now 7cm dilated.”
This was music to my ears. I couldn’t wait to see what the fuss was all about. And I was not disappointed. The power of water during birth was immense. As soon as I had entered the birthing pool I immediately felt a sense of weightlessness and relaxation.
However, after 2 hours in the pool and not much progress, the mid wives had asked me to come out and try standing in order to use gravity to burst my waters. They had believed that the baby was unable to come down the cervix because of the water that was blocking his head. At this point I was transitioning and my instincts were telling me to give up. “No, you’re doing really well!” my fans chanted (husband and midwives), “Not long now! You’re nearly there!” But I felt no closer to meeting my baby boy. I really had to channel my inner hypnobirthing instincts and could hear the message, ‘each surge brings my baby closer to me’. And that’s what ultimately kept me going during the 11th hour of labour. The power of the mind is not to be underestimated!
Very soon after and as soon as my waters burst, I could instantly feel the baby moving down my cervix. That feeling of ‘I’m almost at the end!” was of pure joy and intensity. I trusted my body to birth my baby. I trusted my instincts and felt like my body was doing it all for me –I didn’t even need to push – just concentrate on my breathing. “The baby’s head is out!” – so close – I only needed to do was to wait for the next surge… and with the final surge and the release of oxytocin flowing through my body – I knew he had arrived!
Even now, I still can’t believe how amazing and powerful my body was. Birth was such an intense, raw, empowering and beautiful experience. I feel honoured and grateful to have been able to experience it. Honestly, no words can really describe the feeling of being able to birth your baby and hold him for the first time. It really was truly magical. A day I will remember for the rest of my life.
